News Absorber Prints

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Meet the Enemy

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

Capital Tours

"Oh my God, they're gassing refugees. Look at this family!"

Reporter #6: television.

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

Classic News.

Big Newspaper Delivery

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

Charades

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

'You've been killing files again.'

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

"It makes me happy that you took time to read the newspaper today."

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

CONGRESS, 'It was a really tight race this time -- I had to use some of my campaign contributions for CAMPAIGNING!'