New Year's Gift T-Shirts

"Given the year they've judt had down here, I suppose an alien invasion must seem like a welcome distraction."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"That'll be five bucks."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Daughters on the beach

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Christmas Presents.

Cactus with muscles and dumb-bells on ground.

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

No caption (A man running on a treadmill hands a relay baton to a man on the treadmill in front of him).

"I like to think those stars are the souls of Senior Executives I fired!"

"I might just get a pie."

Santa called but you were out!

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

"I think I can". (train)

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."