Winter Holiday Gifts T-Shirts

"In the middle of winter, I have my seasonal affective disorder meds to keep me cozy."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Daughters on the beach

"That'll be five bucks."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"I might just get a pie."

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'Hang on a minute...'

Mouse returns home from work.

"Ticket and passport, please."

Loopholes

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"Goodnight Tommy, sleeptight, watch the millenium bugs don't bite."

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

Snake Charming

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

New Age Office Supplies Catalog.

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

"Who's the new guy?"