New Year Resolution Dropout Gifts

"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"

Let's get organized

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

Man to woman leaving health club: 'The instructor said I had lots of body definition ... plump, rotund, obese, heavy ...'

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

Yoga for beginners,

January Joiner

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'I'm downsizing in hopes of a merger.'

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

This year I thought I'd give up something different so I've given up writing Haiku poetry.

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

Man Walking Towards His Goal.

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

Preparing for Dating Opportunities in 2020

'For your aerobic exercise today, give me five 'Sweet Georgia Browns', a couple of 'Hot Times in the Old Town Tonight', and hit the showers.'

'I AM going to join a gym, but I've got to get in shape first. . .'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

A "half-life" is the time it takes for a quantity of a radioactive material to be cut in half by decay. In each successive half-life period, the quantity is halved again. Half-life length varies widely form element to element. Eating healthier is a common new year's resolution. Our data shows breaking this resolution follows a curve like those seen with nuclear decay. As of yesterday about ten percent of those who made the resolution this year are still sticking to it. We calculated the re

'I want you to slow down, and that includes fast food.'

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

New Years Reolutions

Before and After diet photos.

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

"The hardest part is getting out the front door."

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."