New Year Resolution Dropout Gifts

"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"

Let's get organized

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

Man to woman leaving health club: 'The instructor said I had lots of body definition ... plump, rotund, obese, heavy ...'

Yoga for beginners,

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

January Joiner

'I'm downsizing in hopes of a merger.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

This year I thought I'd give up something different so I've given up writing Haiku poetry.

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

Man Walking Towards His Goal.

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

'I AM going to join a gym, but I've got to get in shape first. . .'

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

'For your aerobic exercise today, give me five 'Sweet Georgia Browns', a couple of 'Hot Times in the Old Town Tonight', and hit the showers.'

Preparing for Dating Opportunities in 2020

'I want you to slow down, and that includes fast food.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

New Years Reolutions

Before and After diet photos.

"The hardest part is getting out the front door."

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."