New Year Commitment Gifts

January Joiner

Let's get organized

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

Unconditional Loveseat

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

I'm putting all my eggs in one basket.

The Female Brain and The Other One

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

Man to woman leaving health club: 'The instructor said I had lots of body definition ... plump, rotund, obese, heavy ...'

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

Yoga for beginners,

A push in the right direction: 50c.

It was getting harder and harder to stay psyched.

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

'I'm downsizing in hopes of a merger.'

Frank and Ernie's Relationship Advice. It's not enough to just accept that relationships are two-way streets ... You must also avoid taking side trips down alleys!

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

This year I thought I'd give up something different so I've given up writing Haiku poetry.

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"Look at me - I can do this!"

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'Are you serious? I thought 'For Better or for Worse' was just a comic strip.'

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

Man Walking Towards His Goal.