New Year Resolutions Gifts

'You chewed up my list of new years resolutions! Good boy!'

Who am I kidding?

Linguaphone language course, "Congratulations, this course should last two weeks before you give up along with all your other resolutions"

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

New Years Reolutions

"Then we agree! We will start our new year's resolution to lose weight in 365 days!"

New Year Diet

Am regretting tendency to isolate myself from others in decision making process. Make New Year's resolutions to be more open to different opinions.

"Since you couldn't be bothered to write down your New Year's resolutions, I thought I'd just do it for you!"

"So what are you planning on giving up for New Year?"

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

"For the New Year, I've decided to listen more and talk less."

"My new year's resolution was to watch less news. Hal's was no news at all."

Jeff had vowed that he would never let another social occasion be ruined by his crippling fear of avocados."

"Have you made a New Year's resolution?"

'I've made the same New Year resolution as last years. Cut back on booze, eat healthy and lose weight...'

January Joiner

My new year's resolution is to ask Jimmy Doohan's sister to hold hands with me. Mine is to tell Jimmy Doohan's sister where your hands have been, so she'll hold hands with me instead

'Now Gordon's New Year's Resolutions have gone missing'

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

'There goes my New Year's resolution to be a better person.'

"THIS YEAR I'M GOING TO GET IN SHAPE."

"Well there goes the last of the NEW YEARS resolutions."

"I'm giving up being a sex god for New Year!"

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

'Any last words?'

"I'm giving up running marathons for New Year."

"I faked your New Year's resolution."

Donuts. Pastries. Danish. Cookies. I'm breaking my diet resolution, but on the other hand I'm keeping my resolution to visit old friends!

Let's get organized

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

Man to woman leaving health club: 'The instructor said I had lots of body definition ... plump, rotund, obese, heavy ...'