New Talent Discovery Gifts

The ocean is no place for a star.

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

Giraffe Portrait

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

"The guy's a natural!"

Musical Prodigy

"We started with fetch and heel, but we've moved on to impasto and chiaroscuro."

"She doesn’t fetch or roll over or anything really, but she’s a terrific whistler."

"She's not all over you, but she gets the job done."

"I only accept students with natural talent. Your kid's talent is unnatural."

' I don't understand! He's never done that before!!'

'How do you expect me to fine tune my act if you keep taking me to the principal's office?

Waiting to be discovered, or taken to work, whichever comes first...

'All I've ever wanted to do is dance!'

"Well we are looking for people with a wide range of skills."

Pianist Fraud

"I didn’t know you could play."

This is classical in hiring: she's trying to unsettle the candidate to find out how he reacts point blank to the unexpected.

Purple Squirrel

"Give it up for Stevie and his musical underarms! Next up, in the house...Crazy Katrina and her jump rope of death! It's something you'll see only on...the Security Camera Network!"

'He's not too fast on his feet, but he's got a hell of a right hook!'

'This is Bob. He's really short, but he's got quick hands, watch.'

"Your mission is to combat brain drain."

"That mover you headhunted for me turned out to be a shaker."

'If this a present would you like to try our beautiful gift wrap.'

'He has hidden talents and I'm still looking for them!'

'That's the best hold music I've ever heard, I'd like to sign you up at once'

'...Because of his size, we want to give him time to develop.'

'Raymond's a frustrated composer.'

"Really? So which kid are you scouting for your team?"

"Quick! Get me an agent."

"Not everyone is cut out for this business but it's a living."