New Sibling On The Way Gifts

"If I'm going to have a baby brother, can I help design him?"

At the Museum

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Child driving a toy car

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"Better luck next time, kid."

Family working together

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

The Charge of the Kids

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

Maternity ward: 'Oh boy - stereo!'

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

Windmill

Fade to black...