New Resolutions Pillows

"Robert has resolved to be more tolerant. He's starting off slowly with lactose."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Mediation Process

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

The Janopause

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

Wild Animal Park. How are the animals doing with their new year's resolutions? Good! The gazelle is trying to slow down and enjoy life, and the sloth is exercising more! What's the goat's resolution? To be more careful about what he eats? No, he just wants to spend more time with the kids this year. I heard the doe made a resolution to save some money. You misunderstood, Ernie. She didn't make any resolutions for herself. Her goal this year is to convince the male members of her specie

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

D I E T F We said we'd stick together this time, but we really knew it would only last a day or two.

"...For new year, I'm going to stop watching so much sport..."

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"This year I'm getting in shape."

"This year I'm going to lose weight!"

"OK...I've worked all week on my self-confidence. So asking Smiley to the movies should be easy! C'mon Baldo, you can do it! Just concentrate...and it'll happen!"

'I made up my mind to spend less time on line, and I was doing real well 'til they brought the computer back from the shop.'

"THIS YEAR I'M GOING TO GET IN SHAPE."

"I'm really serious about exercising. Last year I only went to the gym twice, once to join and once to renew."

2010 Calendar.

"I'm starting my diet today."

"If I were you, I'd put a new hairstyle way way down your list of New Year's Resolutions."

"A little bit less television, a little bit more books on tape. What's your New Year's resolution?

'To show I'm serious about giving up smoking for new year, I'm going to sign this pledge.'

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

I made a resolution to have a more positive attitude, but god knows how long that's gonna last...