New Rental Agreement Pillows

Apt house matchmaker: '23 - D meet 17 - c, sublet...'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

So...this is the roommate. Awkward...

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

'There, but for the grace of an ironclad contract go I.'

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"It's not much, but we've made it our own living hell."

'The fine print can be read only if held up to a mirror.'

"It's a nice unit, but there may be a faint odor from the last tenant..." "Yeah, enough to make you faint."

"What?" "I SAID TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!"

"When you pay the rent for your one-room studio, you mustn't think about what you can get for that amount back in Iowa."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

"I've got the wine."

Unplugged.

"I'm getting real sick of picking up your laundry, Adam."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

"He huffed and he puffed and he increased our rent."

Which one of these things is the soap?

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

"Gee, they just look like a bunch of little ants, don't they?"

"Well, thank God it's not the plumbing! Let's run down town, drop off a check and sign that lease!!"

Shoe for Rent

'How many times have I told you, Throg? Dress for dinner.'

Leonard Cohen calls his landlord

"Tell us about yourself, Pete."