New Position In Airport Security Pillows

Airport traffic

UK border controls relaxed.

Airport Security.

'Where was the TSA?'

The World's Easiest Airport

The World Wide Web.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Rubbish Carousel

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

"Sure, pat down strangers all day, but I ask for one little hug..."

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

Airport Toilet Hand Drying Machine

"I need a vacation. Everything is starting to smell like a bomb to me."

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

"It's marzipan pigs."

'Such work commitment has to be rewarded: The ticket is free Sir...'

'I'm sorry sir, but that slide rule exceeds the allowable length for a sharp object, unless, of course, you can manage to fold it.'

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

"3 ounce liquids! Get your 3 ounce liquids here! Approved and ready for screening! 3 ounce liquids!"

'Due to budget cuts, all agents will now be equipped with x-ray glasses.'

'Welcome to America'

'You're right, good joke, bad timing...'