New Job In Airline Pillows

'Such work commitment has to be rewarded: The ticket is free Sir...'

Walking Luggage.

Airport Security.

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

The World's Easiest Airport

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

The World Wide Web.

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Employee of the Month Parking

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Parking meter on the moon.

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

Leaving a Lasting Impression. . .

Rubbish Carousel

Two airplanes

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'He's still following us, Don.'

'Ideally, I'd like a ticket to where ever my luggage is going.'

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

'Will that be coach?'

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

Safest Airline in The World