Starting A New Job At An Airline Pillows

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"Not only is our flight delayed, but the airline has declared bankruptcy."

Welcome to the Team

Walking Luggage.

Airport Security.

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

The World Wide Web.

The World's Easiest Airport

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Employee of the Month Parking

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

Rubbish Carousel

Two airplanes

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

'He's still following us, Don.'

'Ideally, I'd like a ticket to where ever my luggage is going.'

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

'Will that be coach?'

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.