New Parent Survivalist Pillows

"Ahh...He's got wind"

'Well, nurse, it was a bit daft putting me next to this mirror!'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

A young Don King

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Cry babies.

'Ahhh...'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

baby sweetcorn...

The Baby Walker

'I told you it would be useful.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"She's been so creative lately."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Interior design trends for parents....

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

A midwife holding a baby

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'