New Parent Explorer Pillows

Constructing your own prison!

"Haven't been there, haven't done that."

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

'Hey Kiddo, I think we'll have to stop to change your nappy...'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

Maternity ward.

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

At the modern antenatal class.

"I'm so tired: Joey was tossing and turning in his sleep the whole night and kept waking me up..."

"Broken childcare promises make me mad."

"You have the right to remain silent, anytime you cry can be used against you...."

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

They hadn't realised how much having a baby would affect their sex lives.

"At first it was difficult having a new baby. But now I'm doing fine!"

Triplets

Nope, not how you change her diaper.

"Woohoo, we have have overcome the wave!"

"Why do they tell us not to be childish? We're only nine!"

'Well, Mr. 'Let's get him a fish they're no trouble at all,' you're on.'

'Wait, breathe or don't breathe? Oh jeez, why did I have to sleep through Lamaze class?'

"Her phone has parental controls, but I have to ask her how to use them."

"Awww....someone's done a pooping in their pants. How cute?"

"Any chance I could put myself up for adoption?"

'I have this recurring nightmare. Mum's so engorged she can't get out of bed to feed me.'

"I handled his last adventure. You take this one."

"Mom wasn't impressed with my suggestion that we 'agree to disagree'."

My wife had quads