New Manager Optimist Pillows

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

Upward Progress

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

Six Thinking Hats

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

Well, everything's going great! I guess it's time to bring in the naysayers.

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'Actually, my mom was the first to notice he'd lost that new boyfriend smell!'

'I want to see more blue sky thinking.'

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

Sign - CAN DO "I like your attitude, Harris."

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

'No good deed goes unpunished around here.'

"Oh, don't mind us... We just want to make sure it's really dead."

'-Must remember to empty that...'

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

Nothing to Lose

Man replaces tank sign with deer sign

I accidentally deleted your report, Bob. Figures. Coffee maker's broken, Bob. Figures. Forget those changes I asked you to make, Bob. Figures. Bob, your flight is at 5 a.m. Figures. I need you to stay late, Bob. Figures. No, Bob, your plan doesn't cover dental. Figures. It wasn't exactly the six0figures job that Bob had hoped for.

Flower growing from a bomb.

Ahhh, spring baseball.

"While we haven't actually achieved these results yet the existence of this chart demonstrates our preparation."