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"You're looking remarkably well done today."

Counting ribs

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Important Food Groups

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Turkey Autopsy

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

Opening the Barrel

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Cook and her Maids

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

Special! Continental breakfast...$3.99: 'What continent is this suppose to represent - Antarctica!'

"Pie chart"

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

"A little lamb please."

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

The First Roast Chicken.

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

French suppers.

'Careful. The plates are extremely cold.'

"Things that make me feel better/Things I'm too tired to do......Things that make me feel worse/Things I do when I'm tired.

"Your lasagna was dismal, as was the coffee, but you, Sofi, are fabulous at Pictionary!"

"Is the slop fresh?"