Career Change To Culinary T-Shirts

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Counting ribs

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"You're the lid to my pot."

6 Brothers Falafel

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Picking pastries.

Cookbooks

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"Rump roast?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Important Food Groups

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"These things are delicious. Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!"

Turkey Autopsy

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

Man's cooking explodes.