New Job In Aviation Gifts

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"Awwe, but just look at that face. Come on, let's let her on!"

'You may get up and collect your carry-ons as soon as I'm timed out and illegal to work tomorrow.'

The World's Easiest Airport

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

"Sorry, folks -- we're almost done inventing flight. Should just be another twenty minutes."

"The captain asks everyone switch their phones to airplane mode -- He wants to go faster."

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

'Does anybody else want to DEMAND a second bag of peanuts?'

The World Wide Web.

"How dare you! I never give up my buddy passes on the first date!"

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"Yo Mike, I'm going to lunch!"

Flight Crew Fireworks

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Walking Luggage.

Airport Security.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Employee of the Month Parking

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

Parking meter on the moon.

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

Leaving a Lasting Impression. . .

Rubbish Carousel

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

Airport Toilet Hand Drying Machine

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

'Such work commitment has to be rewarded: The ticket is free Sir...'

"Great launch party"

A hand reaching frantically out a lavatory door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away.

'...You hear me? Control here, can you hear me?'

"Not only is our flight delayed, but the airline has declared bankruptcy."

The Problem with the TSA