New Job As Bartender Pillows

Margarita

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

Best Before 5th Pint.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

You said you wanted beer with hops !

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

'The King of what?'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

"Do you take dark money?"

Body by Jake

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

Anton's Bar and Grill

"You call this ice?"

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"I'm surprised at you, Ted. You know we're not allowed to serve alcoholic beverages to dogs."

"You're looking remarkably well done today."

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

The Fault of the Fowl

'No tipping please.'

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

"How's that pub landlord thing working out?"