Bar Worker Pillows

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"This place is an equal opportunity employer."

'Say! You're new here aren't you?'

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

"Sure it looks good from the outside, but you try bob, bob, bobbin' along, day in, day out."

"It's working Floyd, she's watching you!"

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Best Before 5th Pint.

Shaken not stirred

Margarita

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

You said you wanted beer with hops !

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'The King of what?'

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

"Do you take dark money?"