Bar Worker Pillows

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"This place is an equal opportunity employer."

'Say! You're new here aren't you?'

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

"Sure it looks good from the outside, but you try bob, bob, bobbin' along, day in, day out."

"It's working Floyd, she's watching you!"

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

Shaken not stirred

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Margarita

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

"Have you seen my dad?"

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

You said you wanted beer with hops !

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'The King of what?'

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'