New Job As Bartender Gifts

Margarita

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

Best Before 5th Pint.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

You said you wanted beer with hops !

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'The King of what?'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

"Do you take dark money?"

Body by Jake

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

"You call this ice?"

"You're looking remarkably well done today."

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"I'm surprised at you, Ted. You know we're not allowed to serve alcoholic beverages to dogs."

Anton's Bar and Grill

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

The Fault of the Fowl

'No tipping please.'

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

'I'm worried that I might have slept through my 'fifteen minutes of fame'.'