New Jersey Gifts

Tennis as a Metaphor for the Tri-State Area

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Haircuts

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Any questions?"

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

Dating is so expensive...

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Hanging off every word...

Quality Control

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

I cut my own hair — using a drone.

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

'First of all, relax.'

Targets.

'I hope that training aid doesn't give him the idea that bigger laptops could mean more output.'

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'