New Home (with Pest Issues) Gifts

Pest Control.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

LAY ZEE FUK

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

Lady of the Cake.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

The wonderful world of cheese.

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Dog Dreams

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Gardener

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Allotment

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Second hand furniture.

"And this is our media room."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'