New Home With Garage T-Shirts

'I think it's time we came to grips with our addiction to buying kayaks.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

LAY ZEE FUK

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Gardener

Allotment

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"And this is our media room."

Beach Barbecue

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

Rose Garden

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'