New Home With Garage Gifts

'I think it's time we came to grips with our addiction to buying kayaks.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

LAY ZEE FUK

Lady of the Cake.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

The wonderful world of cheese.

Allotment

Gardener

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"And this is our media room."

Beach Barbecue

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

Rose Garden

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'