New Home With Pool Gifts

Ace Pool Cleaners.

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

'Oh no, it's the mosquitoes! Kids, splash around in the pool, they only like stagnant water.'

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

LAY ZEE FUK

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Gardener

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Allotment

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"And this is our media room."

Rose Garden

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Beach Barbecue

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Get... a-nother room!"

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'