New Dietary Restrictions Pillows

'And ask the chef to run his blender as he cooks that steak. My doctor has put me on a liquid diet.'

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

"I do diet...between snacks."

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"

'It's wheat-free, dairy-free, fat-free, nut-free, sugar-free and salt-free...enjoy!

"I want you to decrease your salt intake and increase your pepper intake."

Good news! We determined the hair in your vegan soup is from the chef's fake fur coat!

"My lab tests are in. I'm lactose intolerant."

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

The Sprats

"I'm giving up chocolate for lent."

Gluten-free area.

Dave figured out if he added green food coloring to his milkshakes everyone just presumed he was drinking a kale smoothie.

"It's the only organic lacto-vegan menu I could find that fitted into the firms Christmas meal budget."

The day Kevin turned vegetarian.

"Heirloom or not, I've got to unhang it because my wife became a vegetarian."

'Do you have another menu of what I can have?'

"I asked for something gluten-free, dairy-free and meat-free and he brought me a glass of water."

And what would you recommend for a lapsed vegan?

I'm allergic to cookie dough and I'm lactose intolerant, but I appreciate the thought. Thanks. -S. Claus.

"Well, if it's not a Mirage, we're lost, in the Dessert!"

She's just discovered her irritable bowel syndrome isn't caused by chocolate!

'The Government says we have to list all ingredients -- What's your social security number?'

'She's really serious about dieting this time -- she has a picture of Rosie O'Donnell on the refrigerator!'