New Daycare Opening Gifts

'He works as a guard dog at the nursery.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Madonna of the Pukes.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

The Baby Walker

"Look Mommy, hat!"

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"The first one's just a warning."

Happy kids running abount with a 'Schools out' banner

"Too much sugar."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."