New Daycare Opening Gifts

'He works as a guard dog at the nursery.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

The Baby Walker

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"The first one's just a warning."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Too much sugar."

Happy kids running abount with a 'Schools out' banner

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."