New Art Endeavor Pillows

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

Empty box of ideas

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

Bright Idea

Wagging Dog

The Selfie

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Cats at private view

Jackson Pollock Studio

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

"He's an abstract artist."

M.C. Escher Exhibit Upstairs.

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

Imagine

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

'It's my main decorating motif.'

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"Someday we will escape from this prison."

Sculptor's chippings

Kapoor & Piss-poor (Anish Kapoor sculpture beside Marcel Deschamps urinal)

Instant art

Smithsonian

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

"It's called 'Sold'."

"You don't look a day over 30,000."