New Age Advocate Gifts

The New Ager

Deforestation.

Woman carries the world.

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

She was warned. Nethertheless she persisted.

Oligarchy

Leadership suits you

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

New Age Store.

'New Age Dog Park' Dogs commune with Nature.

International Women's Day: End Violence Against Women!

Joe Biden

'Sex discrimination? What are you talking about?'

This Year's Spa

"Your membership entitles you to 15 books,45 posters,200 leaflets and umpteen stickers!"

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"The Nominees"

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

'Sorry, but we need someone willing to evolve.'

"The tuna is endangered, the lettuce was recalled and the tomatoes were hit by a drought. I can give you mayo on a roll."

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

'There is nobody else. I'm afraid we've wiped out all of the other species.'

Ecological balance.

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

"We interrupt this special bulletin about Ferguson and Tulsa, to bring you a special bulletin about Baltimore..."

No - None sense, take-charge, inc. - Formerly: Happy-go-lucky, inc.'

"Management don't really want to commit to the next 'best thing' until the current 'best thing is last years 'best thing'."

The Inner Dog.

"I don't care what you think: it's cool, it's sexy, and I feel totally empowered."

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'