Never-give-upper Gifts

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

'I try not to think big too often or I get terrible headaches.'

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

"I still haven't cleaned up from the party."

'Would Sir like to smell the screw-top?'

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

'Why is it the one moment I choose to relax you walk in?'

'I must confess I admire people like you...Executives brave enough to say 'No I need a holiday.' I don't care if my clients look elsewhere, I'm not going to sacrifice my leisure time to climb the slippery pole to the very top...'

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

"It's just now starting to get comfortable. Why would I want to buy a new chair?"

Snowman has carrot on stick for motivation.

'I think we're on different career paths.'

"The long wait for greatness to be thrust upon one."

Ivan the Terrible with Names

'Every year, I make a New Year's resolution, but I never stick to it, and it's embarrassing when people ask me about it...this year I'm just going to lie through my teeth when people ask.'

"What's my motivation?"

"I plan to work my way up from the bottom."

"I didn't hear Bill Clinton say it was time for me to change."

Ah! Bejezus...for the love of Mike...This wine is corked

"It helps me to focus more on success and less on my tail."

Wordplay: Wishful Thinking.

"I don't have kids because after twenty years of teaching there isn't a child's name I can hear that won't give me horrible flash backs."

"Whatever you can conceive, you can achieve."

'My husband hadn't kicked up his heels in 20 years, but he couldn't leave well enought alone.'