Neutering Humor Fan Gifts

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

The Snooze Bar.

A Golden Non-Retriever

Beer Parasol.

Girl in cow onesie.

No, I don

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

tRUMp, Pirate President

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"Fish finder."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

The bird feeder.

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

"Can you keep a secret?"