Neurosis Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

Spindle Neurons

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

Woody Allen

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

'The Neurosis Pack.'

'Amazing this pizza looks just like a brain scan of someone who's experiencing apophenia'

'Hello Doctor. I'm Ed Shannon and these are my neuroses.'

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

Death By Mattress

'I just faxed my tie to our Des Moines office.'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

Stock Market Psychology: 'Buy with the leftside of your brain, sell with the rightside!'

Sensory confusion syndrome.

From the tournament of neuroses parade

'Sorry, Dr. Schmertzdorf — that was my right brain talking.'

Horses are nervous animals. . .

'Maybe YOU'RE projecting!'

Pick Your Own Neuroses

"Lately life is just a bed of neuroses."

"Ok, Monica, here's where it gets weird."

Notice anything different about me, Randy? Never. I've maximized the ability to notice even the tiniest change in a lady's appearance. But to do so, I've had to appropriate the neurons typically used to notice anything about other me. Wish I had that skill. Would've helped with what's-her-name. Whoa! When did you get here?

'Oh, come on — nobody can feel that inferior.'

'Well, he still has his neuroses, but at least I cured his insomnia.'

"I knew it. I just KNEW it. How long have I had this condition, doctor? Is there a cure? Oh, God, it just had to be disease, didn't it..." Cathy finds out that she has hypochondria.

'Don't let it bother you - heck, some people think I'm nuts!'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to retrieve your health records."

"She's famous in here for having 5 conditions, 3 syndromes, and a decease named after her."

"How long have you been a compulsive eater of onions?"

'Maybe installing luxury boxes was a bit optimistic."

'Lately life's just a bed of neuroses.'

'It's all in how you look at it -- try thinking of yourself as the world's tallest short guy.'

'Pro Golfer Associated Catatonic Tigrephrenia...'