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Attention Span therapy Center: 'Are we done yet?'

From the tournament of neuroses parade

Death By Mattress

'Hello Doctor. I'm Ed Shannon and these are my neuroses.'

'Well, he still has his neuroses, but at least I cured his insomnia.'

'Oh, come on — nobody can feel that inferior.'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"Lately life is just a bed of neuroses."

'Maybe YOU'RE projecting!'

'Lately life's just a bed of neuroses.'

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

Pick Your Own Neuroses

If business gets any worse I'll have to start laying off relatives.

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

'Yes, he's neurotic - It's a common condition with neurologists.'

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

"ADHD is a chronic condition marked by an inability to focus attention for an extended perio. . ."

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

'Sit tight — I'm going to call for backup.'

"Right foot, left foot, inhale, exhale, right foot..."

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."

Apple Picking 2020

'You could work at any fortune 500 company... Why have you applied at our little shop?'

Jocasta Mothering.

An Industrial Inferiority Complex. '... Nobody likes me ... other industries are better than me ... I'm only slightly neurotic.'

"It's all me, me, me, with you - it's like the world revolves around YOU all the time!"

"I knew it. I just KNEW it. How long have I had this condition, doctor? Is there a cure? Oh, God, it just had to be disease, didn't it..." Cathy finds out that she has hypochondria.

'Don't let it bother you - heck, some people think I'm nuts!'

"If you hear me scream . . . Dear God, Jesus Christ, what are you doing, then I want you to apply your foot to the brake!"

'What if I want to stop? Where's the pause button?'

"I see from your resume, your father owns a 45% of the company stock"