Network Novice Gifts

'I'd join Twitter, but I'm worried I'll make a hash of it.'

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

"First time pruning?"

Good Luck!

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."

Bubbie Selfies

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

Computer books for dummies.

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

"You butt dialed me 187 times in less that an hour, dad."

After two years on zooms, Arthur was having trouble coping with face to face networking again. . .

"It's bad enough my kids know more about computers than me, but I'm not taking this from YOU!"

"Yes! I'm THE Britney Spears... I was named 'Britney Spears' first so that makes me THE the."

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

By the time I figured out how to read her e-book, she was asleep.

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'Hello, technical support? Which one is the 'any key'?'

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

"Banking, booking flights, shopping - there's no limit to what he can't do on the internet."

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

'We're taking baby steps with this whole social media thing until we're certain it pans out.'

"Please—no technology questions!"

'Let's face it,Edgar.you and mother nature don't have anything in common.'