Nervous Testers Pillows

I'd prefer to do my test on foot.

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"Your IQ came back negative."

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'Half-crazed with nerves Petey Otterloop awaits the start of the winter concert.'

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'Every time he lectures about serotonin, he puts me to sleep.'

'Tell me a little bit about yourself.'

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

"You did very well on your I.Q. test. You're a man of 49 with the intelligence of a man of 53."

Blower wars.

'That's just for videos, Jeffrey -- book reports don't have to have FBI warnings.'

'It's to protect me from the splattering. Now open wide.'

'You could work at any fortune 500 company... Why have you applied at our little shop?'

'No matter how often I do the show, I still suffer from stage fright...'

'This 'chicken' stuff isn't bad -- it tastes like dinosaur!'

"How did the acupuncture session go, Sebastian?"

Idlewild.

"Our next act...Cruzini, the world's greatest magician!"

After his career as a wrestling pro, Hank 'Iron Claw' Hammersmith found a new job at the touchscreen test department.

Foot in ice cube.

'What if I want to stop? Where's the pause button?'

"If you hear me scream . . . Dear God, Jesus Christ, what are you doing, then I want you to apply your foot to the brake!"

It's rude to laugh behind someone's back. Unless it happens to be a painfully shy comedian. Then it's rude not to.

'The sun... hung bel... belligerently... over the... dust... dusty town...'

"Emergency stop! I'll tick that."