Nerdy Jokester Pillows

The Principal of Inertia.

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Pyramid (Drawn from memory) (Pretty accurate)

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

"I think you should hire me for my vast software knowledge. . . and then pay for me to go learn software."

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

Leaving cards.

'I was told it required a log-in...'

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"Come on, dear...you can't blame everything on Russian hackers."

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'Okay, okay! You can have a lick of my sucker.'

The Screeeen!

Broad Minded

"It's not just you. Neutrinos are going right through everybody."

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'When I said you will get an office with windows, I was referring to the operating system on the computer.'

Cloud computing.

'I got them walkie-talkies... that way they can argue up to one mile apart.'