Neighborly Wit Pillows

'We just stopped by to say hello.'

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

One giant bark for dogkind.

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

'He's training for a career in law.'

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

"It's been a rainy winter."

Robinia Floribunda

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

This is Bad Feng Shui!

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

Beware of Curmudgeon!

Jingle Bell Rock // Silent Night

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

'How very Blackheath!'

"Smoke signals from my neighbor's grill. He's asking if he can borrow some ice."

'I'll bet you I can make the neighbor look over the fence and yell, 'shut up, you stupid mutt'!'

Dog Work Ethics

'The neighbors don't care how you commute, but they're beginning to complain about the noise.'

"Strange!. . . . Other high schools get besieged by headhunters."

"They must be out...'Neighbours' is on the television!"

'Oh don't worry about George, he's just got worms.'

'...and why shouldn't she be sleeping with your next door neighbour - she's my wife!'

Flea in the ear

A friendly neighbour helps man to escape discovery by an angry husband.

'Oh great. The Jones replaced their bird bath with a hot tub.'

'Really? He has his father's nose?... Is his father Cyrano De Bergerac?'

'Doreen's been all over me to paint the house and Phillip wouldn't stop bugging me for a new trampoline, so...'

'Even tho' he now lives in a ritz, upscale neighborhood, he hasn't changed a bit!'

'She used to be gagging for it-now she just wants gagging!'