Neighborly Humor Appreciator Pillows

Bird house on fire

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

"Bah! in my day bands knew how to play their computers properly. Like Kraftwerk"

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

'He's training for a career in law.'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

Robinia Floribunda

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

"It's been a rainy winter."

'The easy part was training him not to beg.'

This is Bad Feng Shui!

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

"I married a girl with two mums and ended up with two mothers-in-law."

Jingle Bell Rock // Silent Night

'My father and mother never argue. My father doesn't live here.'

Mower Fraud!

Cow with horns and teets reversed.

"Gosh grandma, you must be over a million in dog years!"

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

Keep off the grass

"Faster, Daddy! Faster!"

'How very Putney!'

'Dad, what's a wimp?'

'The neighbors don't care how you commute, but they're beginning to complain about the noise.'

'REEE-SPECT'

'...and why shouldn't she be sleeping with your next door neighbour - she's my wife!'

Before you leave...Do you have any feedback to help us improve our village?

'Your dad bought you makeup for your birthday....try to act pleasantly surprised.'

'Oh don't worry about George, he's just got worms.'

There are some bad neighbors in the building where I live. One creep was kicked out for inappropriate actions. I call him "The Flash." "Catwoman" violates the no-pets policy. "Aquaman" hogs all the hot water. And the "Green Hulk" is a huge guy who berates people when they don't separate recyclables from other trash. On the plus side, when anything breaks here, it is quick fixed. Ah, "Superman"!

"They must be out...'Neighbours' is on the television!"

'Really? He has his father's nose?... Is his father Cyrano De Bergerac?'