Neighborly Spirit Gifts

Welcome to the neighbourhood.

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

Things I love about Powell River...

Vaccine Spring

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"I don't care that you personalized your work area, but stop yelling 'Howdy, neighbor!' to everyone you see!"

"What?" "I SAID TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!"

'This place looks welcoming enough,Alf!'

"You're leaving?" "Yeah, today's kids are so demanding so I've decided to move to a gluten-free, lactose-free, nut-free, sugar-free neighborhood."

Interrupted Shower.

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

This is Bad Feng Shui!

'Keep yapping: The neighbour is red in the face and ready to explode...'

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

Blower wars.

"See that yard with the garden gnomes and the idiot waxing his Nissan Cube? That's your bathroom."

How does she get her grass so green?

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

'I know I never play it. I only borrow it from next door to stop him playing the damn thing!'

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

Picking overhanging fruit.

"Yes, of course you can borrow Gerald's lawnmower, but only if you take him too."

'Um...excuse me, could we please have our ball back?'

"Rex, stop your barking, we're getting dirty looks from the neighbours! Yep, you've woken up the baby!"

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

"Enough of this. Just suck it up and borrow the neighbor’s laptop charger."

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

'Let's just see how long they can stay crouched behind the sofa.'

'He only plays them once a day. At 4 in the morning.'

Japanese Leylandii Rage.

"Good job, except this is my car. Yours is back there."

'Apparently, Phillips, you want a lawsuit on your hands!'