Neighborly Acts Gifts

"The old man, the sea, and the well-meaning neighbor."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

'Neighbors...friends...artists models.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

"What?" "I SAID TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!"

"Mum says can she borrow a cupful of jelly babies?"

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

Interrupted Shower.

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

'I hope it's important, he hates being interrupted during his trombone practice.'

This is Bad Feng Shui!

'Keep yapping: The neighbour is red in the face and ready to explode...'

'Miaow??'

"See that yard with the garden gnomes and the idiot waxing his Nissan Cube? That's your bathroom."

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

'That's all I can say - I've already told you twice as much as I know!'

Blower wars.

Snow Plowing

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

'I know I never play it. I only borrow it from next door to stop him playing the damn thing!'

How does she get her grass so green?

"Rex, stop your barking, we're getting dirty looks from the neighbours! Yep, you've woken up the baby!"

"Yes, of course you can borrow Gerald's lawnmower, but only if you take him too."

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

'I'm baking. Can I borrow 2 eggs... some bacon and a couple slices of bread?'

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

'Um...excuse me, could we please have our ball back?'

"Enough of this. Just suck it up and borrow the neighbor’s laptop charger."

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

'Let's just see how long they can stay crouched behind the sofa.'