Neighborhood Detective Gifts

'I'm checking out our new neighbors! They look like the nosey type to me!'

Yesterday you lost your sheep and suddenly, today, Mary next door has a little lamb... Pretty big coincidence is all I'm sayin'.

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'Are you still having trouble with that nosey neighbour?'

'Yeah, neighborhood crime. That's what I watch all the time 'cause our TV is broken.'

'Those Jensens have NO shame, so I wouldn't be surprised if they were spying on us.'

Crime watch zone sign thief.

Neighbourhood watch with mother

'We couldn't help overhearing the argument you're having with your wife and we'd like to enlist.'

"Don't rush me! I finally found someone who knows about our new neighbors!"

"My god - look at him next door. . . he's sooo nosy!!"

"We'll take the property, but not before we have a thorough inspection...of the neighbors."

Neighbourhood watch 2021

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"Trust me – she's a witch."

"Welcome to the building, Mrs. Bergdorf. We'd like to go over the condo's rules with you."

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

Robinia Floribunda

'Er...any chance that when you've finished with the kids, the cooking and washing up you could help us develop a new waste management recovery system for the borough?'

Interrupted Shower.

'Good morning, Mr. Miller. I'll cut your grass for ten dollars.'

"You're closer. You get it."

'Beware of the Dog poo'

"And, in suburban news, construction of the new, attached four-season solarium at 6870 Evercrest Drive continued amid the silent, seething envy of the neighbors."

"Good defenses make good neighbors."

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

Suspicious Person Ban.

Keepy-uppy with the Joneses.

"The kid next door is doing a school project on heighborhood success stories and wanted to talk to you. I laughed so hard I wet my pants."

"Why is that moron screaming so loud at something that isn't there?"

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'