Neighbor Diplomat Gifts

'I think you got the drummer - Now try for the trumpet player!'

"Hey! Turn down your damn white-noise machine!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"First time pruning?"

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Israel/Palestine Conflict

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Canape?

"He loves his leaf blower."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

Thank you bubbles

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"If you ask me, that sky looks awfully threatening!"

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"