Negative But Realistic Pillows

When pessimists live the dream.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"Reduced budgets are a challenge...Rather than just talk you through it we'd like to give you a practical demonstration of how to 'maximise' resources from limited resources."

"I call it the The Power of Positive Pessimism. Knowing full well that most of the things I try almost always end in disaster, yet somehow finding enjoyment in every step of the process. It works for me!"

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

Thomas Carlyle

'Life's too short to hold grudges.' 'No it's not! You just need to organize your time better.'

'Don't get your hopes up...the future isn't what it used to be!'

The Dungeon

'I always vote for the candidate I think will do the least damage.'

The guy who wanted change, experience, a shoulder to cry on, and a medal, all tied up in a nice,neat package, with whipped cream and a cherry on top.

'I tried for a new lease on life, but I got a lousy credit report.'

'Of course you realize; Grizwell's now honor bound to give us the raise we've asked for.'

Ceiling collapse 'Don't worry, that's just settlement.'

"This new job of mine is like paradise."

'Hardly worth blowing down.'

'Hi. The Bluebird of Happiness retired. I'm the Bluebird of Things Could Be Worse.'

Half Full/Half Empty

Love to Joyce Mott from Lance and Gary,

"I can only run for 30 mins, it's the longest I can bare to be away from my phone."

'Wait! -- What if I get WARTS?'

"These cuts just can't be made without a lot of pain..."

Bomb shelters: pessimists...optimists.

Man with can sitting below sign that says, 'Gave only 109%'.

'I stared with nowt and I've still got it!'

"Existential dread is the new positive outlook."

'She sees the glass as half empty, and what's left is her least favorite beverage anyway.'

'We peck at gravel, we peck at sticks, we peck at the ground...life is full of disappointments.'

The Shed of Doom Mystery: 'So you guys think something is trapped in there?...No squirrels, no chipmunks...just something glowing in the dark.'