Positive Pessimist Pillows

"I call it the The Power of Positive Pessimism. Knowing full well that most of the things I try almost always end in disaster, yet somehow finding enjoyment in every step of the process. It works for me!"

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

Tom's last day.

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"Everything in your life has gone smoothly. That's a violation of Murphy's law."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"Die alone"

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

The end is near. The end is nearish. I get this way every spring.

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

'There was a mild outbreak of optimism all over the world today, but it's not expected to last.'

'Turned out nice again.'

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

"Ambitions... to be proved wrong."

This will be a banner day for you!

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

"If I was you...I wouldn't be worried about the future..."

"Is this worse? Or is this worse?"

The world can fry like a chip and end tomorrow as far as I'm concerned! I've made sure all my money is safe.

'Against Joie De Vivre': Meet the author today.

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."

All my silver linings have clouds around them.