Needle Opponent T-Shirts

Self help acupuncture

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

Coronavirus world

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

Knitted Kitty.

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

Acupuncture clinic

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

"Look, Papi...you need to take care of yourself. You don't have to be macho and proud and scared of being weak!"

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

Kid to nurse with big needle: 'I thought I told you no heroic measures.'

"This is just the kind of thing healthcare reform should be trying to stop."

'You and your aversion to needles!'

'I'm trying homeopathcy, what are you trying?' 'Acupuncture!'

'Once he stopped sticking me with needles, I felt great!'

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupuncture needles should go?"

Acupunture Clinic opens next to a Ballon Animal shop.

The Vaccine is coming!

CLINIC, 'Are you worried about passing your blood test?', 'Heck, no -- anybody can BLEED.'

'You had to get shots? I couldn't stand that. I hate needles!'

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupunture needles should go?"

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

"Mr. Dinsdale - come back!"