Needle Aficionado Gifts

Porcupine Acupuncture

'Coward!'

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

I love embroidery

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

The latest craze in party games: needlepoint charades.

Ladies reading a crochet pattern for amusement

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

'Happy now?'

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

'I gave her that ball of yarn...'

Acupuncture clinic

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

Knowing that Roger loathed the new cat, Janelle tried to win him over by knitting him a pair of boxers made out of fur balls.

'Maybe we could put our knitting down until the examination is over.'

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

"You keep him busy while I go for help."

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

'He fainted when he saw the needle.'

'Don't tell anybody, I'm expecting a doll.'

Crocheting during lockdown

"Why, it's a little piece of red yarn! Oh Harold, you always know JUST what to get me."

'How long have you been out of work? I've never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

"No, it's not for Bundles for Britain. Guess again."

Acupunture Clinic opens next to a Ballon Animal shop.

"How may I hurt you?"

"So, did the doctor give you something for your runny nose?"

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupunture needles should go?"

Be polite to your acupuncturist at all times. A basic life lesson hard learned.