Necromancer T-Shirts

He's my vaguely familiar.

"Something pickled this way comes!"

"I have grave news."

"Would it kill you to put on something nice when I summon you from the dead?"

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

Fish talking about fisherman

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

"I'll carve the wheels, you'll sell them, and Oog, here, can be customer service."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Moustached gentleman

Goddess

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"At least she's reading."

"Sheesh... Missed a button again."

Witches at a cauldron.

"Gosh! Look what he's done to his Harry Potter books..."

'I gave her that ball of yarn...'

"Dad, it's Friday. Can I borrow the siege tower tonight?"

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"Friend or foe?"