Navigating Job Loss Gifts

'I see you've heard the downsizing rumor.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

Very Difficult Conversations

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

Danger Slow Sand.

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

Between Offices

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

St. Elmo's fired.

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

Fries and kids

Robot arm shows charity to a laid off beggar.

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

"This just in — I no longer have a job."